Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Welcome to the newest edition of the Apple Crying Game

Sad face iPodImage by pvera via FlickrIf you follow the technology news you will notice that Apple has a certain schedule for releasing certain things. You can always count on Apple to release brand new hardware during the Mac World expo in San Francisco, which happens early in the year, and OS-related announcements during the World Wide Developers Conference during the Summer. Apart from these two, there is usually at least one "media" event that deals with things like iTunes, iPods, etc. 

You can also count on people crying like little bitches because no matter how much Apple announces, they simply can't make everyone happy at the same time. This is what we call the "Apple Crying Game."

Today we have some announcements, and the crying is already getting out of control:

On the new iPod Touch:
  • OMG why doesn't it look like the iPhone 4? This is BULLSHIT!
  • Why the hell do I need to pay for this double camera nonsense?
  • $400 for the 64 GB version? Apple thinks we are made out of frickin money? My cousin just bought a 64GB camera card for $10 from some guy on the street! This is such BULLSHIT!
  • How come I can't make calls with this thing? This is basically an iPhone 4! Jesus!
On the new iPod shuffle:
  • $49? Are you shitting me? Seriously?
  • Where's the black one? Hello?
  • How come it doesn't have a screen? How am I supposed to tell what it is playing?
On the new iPod Nano:
  • My fingers are too fat!
  • $179 for the 16GB? Jesus Christ, what's next? 
  • But what if I want to play games with it?
  • Where's the damn Wifi? Why can't I surf the web with this?
On the new Apple TV:
  • $100 to stream to HDMI in 720p thru ethernet and WiFi plus Netflix? Seriously?
  • How come I can't Hulu from this?
  • Where's the hard disk?
  • Why is it so tiny?
  • Only 720p? WTF? This is such BULLSHIT!
  • Where's Ogg? Where's WebM? Where's frickin Windows Media? Hello?
The new iPod Touch means I have to decide how much I am going to screw myself over PJs next media player: do I go $229 for the iPod Touch and hope it is as durable as the iPhone 3G? Or do I splurge and get him the cheapest iPad and hope it won't shatter into a million bits the first time he drops it? Do they even make bumper cases for the iPad?

As for the Apple TV, sorry. I have TWO AppleTVs here, neither being used. These things were really good but it is a pain in the ass to have to transcode video just to play it on the AppleTVs when I can stream video to our two Xbox 360s without any issues. It is not a bad platform, but it is just not good enough when we already got two Xbox 360s here.